your freezer hasn’t worked for a long time, you need to defrost. sunflower seeds for pine nuts work but turmeric for saffron? don’t cut corners in a circle. if you meet someone pretty forget it, she’s not meant for you. go for the abandoned garlic cloves in the corners of bars. they will keep you entertained and cure your masuk angin. cracking utensils, like nigella’s scimitar herb-chopper, are cool, but unnecessary. make a list in your head of places you wanna take tony bourdain to in jakarta and carry it around with you always. invest your money in mutual funds so you can travel to paris when you’re 50. l’institut du monde arabe is the best! fuck the west! wash your jeans before you get them hemmed. machine wash the cheek guards on your helmet, they get stinky fast. you can cut off moldy bits of your cheese, but your spouse might not stand for anything less than by-the-book! make risotto with warm stock. bought stock is OK, but no liquid concocted out of cubes! cook everyday, even if just toasted black latvian bread: spread avocado on it, sprinkle salt flakes and freshly ground black pepper (from the pepper seeds you’ve stored for millennia), voila!, you’ve got yourself an edible kenneth rexroth! never cheat on your wife. that is very important. and don’t expect an electric fan to levitate you out of your misery.