gapang kok

i walked away to beach, leaving her with a plate of tuna slop rice (nice, if a bit salty), leaving her with her friends, leaving her with whatever disappointment she felt over me. i just wanted to go to the beach, feel the sand on my feet, maybe stand under one of the bakau-ish trees and look up at the half-formed moon. i did that. and the cafe owner’s dog, a mongrel lab, ran with me down to the beach, to a bakau-ish tree under which i thought i could feel some calm and just stood there next to me. no demanding playing fetch, no barking, no rubbing wettish cheek on calves. she was just there. as self-contented as i ever wished to be.