i don’t like these people.
they believe in astrology.
they don’t think capoeira is annoying.
they think just because you talk to a girl for longer than five minutes that means you want to sleep with her.
they smoke too much pot and play xbox all day and call it fun.
too much means everyday afterwork.
so they work like zombies and relax like zombies.
for some reason i love them.
but it’s a reason i can’t fathom.
i have no clue why.
when i was away from them i used to think it was their dumbness that attracted me.
because i am dumb too.
but sometimes i am not dumb.
or precisely, i think they’re too dumb, sometimes, when i talk to them.
then i think: i don’t need all this dumbness.
i get afraid i’ll become as dumb as them.
that’s one thing, another thing is i just don’t like talking to dumb people.
having to prove why capoeira is totally annoying.
having to face fact-based arguments like that capoeira is martial arts.
who the fuck cares?
it is annoying.
that’s what i feel.
and what a lot of other people feel too.
and what i feel and what other people feel add up to a fact.
but i don’t care.
i feel it so that’s true. at least to me.
but one person believing in something is never enough.
it’s like jesus would never have made it here.
he would’ve been told: yes, but the fact is that these temple sacrifices give people a lot of comfort.
but jesus didn’t even give a shit about the sacrifice.
he would’ve brought a baby sheep to the altars himself, if it would give him some peace of mind.
but it didn’t, so he didn’t.
but he never told those guys to attack the coin-changers.
he never told anyone to feel anything, or to think a certain way.
he just wanted anyone, someone, to listen to him. to his story. the world according to him. not according to what someone’s parents, or the elders, or whoever he has been listening to all his life, tell him.
he didn’t give a shit about truth-claim.
i was at a table full of people who would not relate to my history.
so i kept silent.
but that was fine. totally.
until i did say something and someone told me that i was wrong just because what i said was wrong. according to her.
but i was just telling her how i feel. not the fact corresponding to the word ‘capoeira’.
no truth claim.
no pretension to knowledge of any kind.
sure, capoeira might very well be martial arts.
i am an ignorant man, so i could very well be wrong when i said, “what the fuck is it anyway, even i can jump around the beach pretending to kick air into submission.”
but it’s just like karate!
i think, or so i thought, even someone who does not have a clear conception of irony and sarcasm would’ve worked out that i wasn’t really asking anyone to define capoeira for me.
i don’t think she’s dumb.
but even she can’t help telling me that what i felt was wrong because she had read somewhere once that capoeira was really martial arts.
if a = capoeira
b = martial arts
c = feeling good about the world
then since a = b, not c must not follow.
i don’t know how when what i object to is a, i can be criticised for my feelings, not c, because a = b.
i don’t care what a is. i only care about how a makes me feel.
but here you can replace a and b with anything and as long as a = b then no one will ever allow you to have not c.
= = the only truth that matters.
perhaps, = = the only truth.
because = = the only thing that matters, whether a thing is true or not.
and if =, then c.
= is sufficient whereas i don’t even think it’s necessary.
i am not happy with the above formulation.
it feels like i’m neglecting to talk about belief. perhaps deliberately.
to move from = to c you need belief.
it’s easier to convince them that a does not = b. you just have to show them a scientific paper, or maybe you don’t need that much, maybe a copy of newsweek.
then they will happily go not c.
i was going to say that they will happily change their belief, go from belief to non-belief, as soon as they find out that what they believe to be true was false.
but i see now that it’s a matter of losing their belief that you can move from = to c. it’s a loss of faith in the world.
you believe that you can go from = to c but as soon as someone comes along and proves that something is doubtful about the state of = you suddenly feel the moral obligation not to like a, since a doesn’t = b anymore and therefore you can’t feel good about a anymore. in your world there is no other reason to feel c except when = holds.
belief is a delicate issue.