i love nature
though i nearly drowned in it once
new year’s eve 1993
bondi beach
i wished i could’ve just stayed floating
in the warm seawater all night
that night
like a forgotten lifebuoy
instead of standing with a wet towel on my neck
at the abandoned bus stop
watching girls kissing
strangers and feeling
so estranged. so strange
to be around fun and not feeling any of it.
that was after a rip
pulled the sand from under my feet
and the bondi hotel
my chosen landmark for its venetian
ugliness
steered me away
from the beach flags
and i had to start tiptoeing
in mid-air
under water.
lucky
my uncle had once told me
swim sideways
don’t try to get back to the safety of the land
god favours the sea
over you.
wait for the right current
and ride it
let it
save you.
so i did.
and nature saved me
and let me go
to enjoy
soggy fish & chips
which i left
half-eaten
on the concrete bulwark where i sat
looking at the spot
where i almost died.
hey,
i even went to the outback
one winter
the cold red earth
burned the soles of my feet in the morning
death metal trees
collared the horizon
but i remember one afternoon
when i sat alone
next to a river where we’d set up camp
next to the makeshift tripod
and last night’s dinner
hanging off it
everyone else had gone for a walk
so there was just me
sitting there
still
the only thing moving was the brown water
like a great, slow, giant, snake.
just i, alone.
suddenly i saw the point
of dot paintings
realism has no place
in a landscape
so unreal as this.
silence buzzed.
the sky screamed.
so blue!
the green gum leaves
blew blue smoke
like a protection spell
around the land.
and i quote:
15 July 2003 – Fourth day
‘The fences ran through the land like arteries. They’re signs of man, of life unwanted by the land. Like human arteries, do they give life or feed off it? Barbed wire fence, electric fence, thin garroting metallic fence: seeing them makes me nervous.”
nature is kind
it is man that makes me
nervous.
Divagyrations 